2006 Rwanda Study Tour
Dawn Marie Lemonds' Journal

February 13, 2006: Rwanda Getting Under My Skin

The program has begun! Last night we had a wonderful pool side meeting with all of our "little lambs" who arrived tiredly at the airport during the day. What fun it was to be the meeting brigade at the airport - even as we drove there and the rain started to pour - the windshield wipers were broken. Seth is such a great driver that we felt comfortable...but thank God it wasn't me! We ordered up water and Banana Nachos- a MUST for a new hor d’evours to try (we’ve tried it three times already) and did a welcoming meeting with our 9 Soroptimists from 5 countries and 3 of the 4 Soroptimist Federations! The group is incredibly sweet and excited and I think we will be wonderful travel companions. Each of them told a little about themselves and I know that it is not an accident that any of these women gave of their time, talent and treasure to be here. Erica from Women from Women International gave a really marvelous overview of the organization and we reviewed the agenda- which strategically is planned to be packed at the beginning with a bit less schedule as we get to the end of the week.

The real excitement began this morning as we headed off with great anticipation for the Women for Women International Headquarters in Rwanda. This is my third Women for Women International project office to see - and I was anxious to contrast and compare - what would be the difference in Rwanda from Bosnia? The genuine welcoming of staff at Women for Women International was as warm as it could be. We hustled in through the BIG RAIN- of course my rain coat was really dry back in my hotel room- but- you just can't remember EVERYTHING!

Berra and her chief staff met with us and gave a wonderful introduction- I need to capture some of her words- but- unfortunately none of you see her incredible eyes and the true love and compassion that she shows so hugely. "Before I say anything I want to say how much I appreciate the support that we get from Soroptimist International." Throughout the building are signs welcoming and thanking Soroptimists.

We learned that this chapter office was founded in 2004 in March - after this Women for Women International program had been partnered for several years with an affiliate organization - Speak I'm Listening. This new office had big dreams- to expand the scope of the program to more consistently follow the Women for Women International model - and to reach many more women. Since 2005 already 3000 women have gone through the program - 60 of them through Soroptimist sponsorship. Within this short time the staff and program have expanded tremendously - from 10 to 35! Soroptimist support has also helped to make this possible. The array of job-skills training is huge here and there is a strong ethic to only offer courses that would actually be marketable and lead women to self-sufficiency. There is an age requirement at this program, 18 to 50 years old, for women to succeed they have to be healthy and strong. Before 18 - girls are children and someone is taking care of them (although admittedly some of the orphans are taking care of other orphans- being adults). The attitude toward life is that the woman has to have the desire to become an active member of society and help her community.

Berra and her staff have big dreams to be all over the country with offices in each of the five regions. “There are so many women crying for help. This program is so important and can only exist when there are women - like the Soroptimists who have a heart to help socially-excluded women". Women that go through this program begin to see them self as someone that can contribute. The financial support that the women get seems so small - but it is so big to her because the few dollars can actually change her economic status. She can buy a goat within a few months of being in the program for example. She can learn to go to the bank herself. Women who are socially marginalized think that banks are only for rich people. She can start saving her money and at the end of the program have money to buy products or be qualified for a loan because by this time she has a 12 month relationship with the bank!

I won't go into all of the details of the program, but the thing that really impresses me is that the value is self-sufficiency! The program is designed to empower women with training and vocational education in skills that are compatible with her abilities - to be an active contributing woman. The support money specifically does NOT extend beyond a year because they want to make women reliant on themselves - not the dole!

So - what does this all really mean? The real stuff started today getting our first living exposure to the program. We walked through about 5 or 6 different workshops - each of them with about 12 students learning the particular skill they had chosen: basket making (2 types) knitting, tailoring, jewelry making, tie dying .........and others are offered at other sites by professional groups in catering or hair dressing for example. The burden for the women in the program is that they have to make a serious commitment, arrange for child care - although little babies are slung in pouches on their backs, and attend every single session that is required. Berra says that the staff has to do this with "love" first for their students/participants. They have to have great compassion for them and their history and burden. She said that Soroptimists and the sponsors - through their letters are great witness to her staff and their sisters of that LOVE - through our supporting words as well as our donations. If someone across the world can love someone they never have met - perhaps they can learn to love themselves and their neighbors once again.

And, speaking of loving someone across the world - I got to meet my sister - Jeanne and her two children. She was the first woman I saw and I was completely surprised and thrilled! Her children, Mutara who is an 8 year-old boy, and Kamakazi, a little girl of 7 came with her. Jeanne grabbed my hand, started asking me questions - and remembering things I had said in my letters. She brought me a valentine and pictures of her family. Mutara- was fascinated with my camera and decided that he needed to learn to take pictures. He actually took pictures of everyone in the group and proudly showed each of them their portraits! Kamikazi- crawled up into my lap and cuddled with me....I am now Tante Dawn Marie to a new little niece and nephew! BLISS!!!!!!!

The other women in the group had all been sponsored by Soroptimists and came hoping to meet their sponsor sisters! We had to explain that already over 800 women have been sponsored by Soroptimists and I gave each of the women in our group a hug for their sister. They clutched their letters in hopes of meeting their sister! Each had a story, a name, and a vocational pursuit.

I forgot to say that when we walked in the group was singing a song and dancing for us. I was so blown away meeting Jeanne that I couldn't pay attention.....I asked them to tell us the meaning of the song- which they did- "God's children are so nice and precious- they are covered with God's righteousness." This was sung to pay tribute to us. I asked them to sing it again and they were delighted to do it.....it was so happy and infectious that women in other groups that other Soroptimists were visiting - also burst into song. We had a great interpreter, Dina, who connected us to the women and helped make this an interactive sharing.

I am almost ready to go get ready for our evenings events- a few more reflections:

We were treated to a great lunch with the staff - many Rwandan dishes that weren't really uncommon to us- there was meatballs, fried fish, ratatouille, rice, a yummy beans and eggplant dish and wonderful bananas that tasted like they had just been picked. We were able to sit and talk about their lives and them about ours- we were so impressed with the compassion and professional qualifications of the staff. They gave their testimonies and each said how they loved their jobs and the difference it made in the lives of the women they worked with.

The highlight of the afternoon was being taken to a little small neighborhood in Kigali where a small ethnic minority of Batwa people lived. They put together a program of traditional Batwa dances for us that were so joyful and welcoming. In this enclave the women had created a nursery school where the children were learning to be literate in French and even were learning English! These children were amazing and sweet and uninhibited. We took what seemed like millions of photos and the afternoon exploded with huge dances- joined by the kids and a song that they wrote for us......our hearts are full with experiencing the heart and hope of Rwanda.

I am signing off. I know this was a bit detail laden, but I am reflecting. You may share this with anyone that you wish to....Dawn Marie


February 16, 2006: Rwanda Mysteries Start Unfolding

Today is Thursday and we will spend one half day working then head off to our Gorilla Trek- which secretly is a bit daunting to me! The next time you hear me you will know that I have faced my fears! I won't share the whole story that I was told by my club president's husband Bob....but he did say that silverbacks were fond of redheads! (Lady Clairol beware!!)

I couldn't possibly begin to share the complete feelings and experiences I have gone through this week - I still want to stop and pinch myself to remind myself that I am in Rwanda! It just doesn't seem possible. The group we are with lead by Erica and Patty from Women for Women International and Berra and Peace here in Rwanda, and President Lynn from UK, Patti from (the northern state of Canada), Tes from the Philippines, Pam and Jackie from the UK, Meryl from Australia and Sandy, Cathy and I from USA are an amazing group of compatible, NOT CRANKY, flexible women- each with strong opinions- but who get along wonderfully. We will say au revoir (isn’t my French great!!) today to Tes and Meryl and will miss them!

Each day has unfolded into new mysteries and new experiences that seem to top the prior day. We usually start our day at the WWI office early in the morning. We are thrilled today to have the possibility of a little "sleep in" as President Lynn called it because we don't have to leave until 9:15 which is positively late. On Tuesday- we had the opportunity to go to the Renewing Women's Life Skills training (ReneWLS) training. Each of us got to choose the class we wanted to attend and at the end of our two hours - each of us felt that WE had chosen the best one and were a little smug that we had done so well! The choices were Domestic Violence (which is what I went to), Nutrition and Reproductive Health (Cathy Standiford went to it). I won't steal Cathy's thunder with her stories but CIRCLE OF FRIENDS and Pat JC- take notice of something great to come!

Our class - held in an outside shelter - included an entire group and three of us with a staff member to interpret the activity as it happened. All of our interpreters are staff and they are amazing with their abilities. The Domestic Violence session started off my setting the stage that Domestic Violence is a worldwide problem and doesn't happen only in Rwanda. We have heard that Rwandan men are very controlling and generally cruel to women as part of a cultural practice. This is learned from the beginning - a phrase that is known in Rwanda is “whatever the baby sees from the back of his mother so will he become. If he sees his father beat his mother, he will learn to beat his wife". The disparity of how girls and boys are treated is palpable and one that may partially be changed through the will of the mother. Young girls do the domestic work and boys play. Girls arrive at school late and tired and boys get good marks thus proving the adage that boys are smarter and cleverer. Women in this group discussed their roles in changing that cycle as well as talk about the debilitating effects of domestic violence on the women themselves and their families. The words that were so often used were, "I felt isolated and hopeless. I could not imagine that anything good could ever happen to me." Our trainer- Godlives- made sure that the most important principles were learned- she used wonderful vivid examples and questioning techniques: Know your rights, be married in the civil court so you have spouse rights, know where you go to get help, talk to your friends (group members) and share your experiences and solutions, change the cycle of violence with your children, don't rely on your man economically- mostly- be personally responsible. CAN YOU THINK OF ANYTHING more important to learn? I was astonished and gratified when I heard the complexity and comprehensiveness of the thinking of the women. Every usual and many not imagined types of violence were reflected on- although very rarely were their own personal stories of abuse shared (as this is still such a stigma). One woman described one type of domestic violence is getting repeatedly pregnant without having means and depriving children of a father!

Of course the stories are what make this whole experience live. I will tell one, but of course each has their own story and if you can imagine a woman- desperately poor living in a slum (that is what they call it) with no running water, no money, sometimes no home and several children to take care of. Each woman would start her story telling her situation before the program (all of whom are sponsored by women from Soroptimists!) In the course of telling their story they revealed the transformation that occurred with their first sponsorship day - when they received their first monthly stipend of 9850 Rwanda Francs. This money, the letter from their sisters, the ReneWLS program every other week and the vocational training was transformative. Before our eyes - the women talked from a place of sadness and desperation and then exploded into smiles and enthusiasm. The enthusiasm and genuine gratefulness for what they had gotten was palpable! Each of the women told their story, told what they were learning, and what they had used their sponsorship money for- very often for a goat or two or a bag of beans! The profits that they have generated - has hugely changed their status.

Here is just one story:

"Claudine was 14 when her parents were killed in the genocide. She was the oldest of 4 children and had finished primary school. She and her sister dropped out of school, dug ground, begged, did odd jobs and whatever they could to scrabble together a bit of food for the family. "I was deeply traumatized but had to be brave for the others. Since I have come here I am no longer isolated. I feel the possibility for my life....We had relatives but none of them would help us. I guess they had their own to take care of. With my first sponsorship money I bought laying chickens- just one. Now I have 10! My house needs repairing and I hope to do this when I graduate from this program. I know I need to keep saving money though. I would love to go back to school but the youngest two are the first priority and then my second sister. My hope is to make a grocery business. I am so happy about the possibilities in my future".

I am reliving the story just telling it and can see her lit face on this gorgeous and brave 25 year old young woman who has seen too much life!

A bit more since I have absolutely stolen so much of your time as I write!

We heard a fascinating lecture about the Gacaca Court system in Rwanda. Gacaca means GRASS- and it refers to a (now) legalized way for Rwandans to face the tragedy of their own lives and involvement, provide both justice and reconciliation. It is estimated that 700,000 people are suspects with over 120,000 in jail! This is social and economic nightmare for the country of 8 million over 53% who are in EXTREME POVERTY. Extreme poverty is less than $1usd/day for a family. I am extremely impressed that the Rwandans are facing this need themselves and the presence of prisoners doing service around the city wearing light pink uniforms is a vivid reminder.

Well- I have gone on- I will leave my home visit and graduation story until I return from THE GORILLAS...it is too big and I can't do it justice right now. The graduation ceremony we witnessed was made especially sweet when we knew Governor Karen Johnson from SI Greater Minneapolis and knew they would be so proud of their sisters. I will tell you that we have formed an exclusive little clique of knitters on this trip - President Lynn has title us as the Rebel Knitters of Rwanda as we are madly putting together squares for a blanket that we are making for a fundraiser. It is in Rwandan colors and the non knitters and knitters alike are having good fun. Even Governor Elect Patti- knitted two stitches under great duress.....what we do for Soroptimists.

Please know that your interest and support MAKES A HUGE difference for women and their families in Rwanda. I cannot begin to describe what level of poverty these people endure....and yet HOPE has arrived with their Women for Women International program that we support!

My love and prayers are with you all! - Dawn Marie