Stories from Sponsors

Heidi Coglon's Mother's Day Story of Sponsorship

After the birth of my daughter, I felt a sudden very strong kinship towards women and mothers. I realized that the same overwhelming love that I felt for my child must be felt by every mother in the world. When I would see images on TV of women and children in war torn countries, who were suffering unimaginable horrors, what before had evoked feelings of sadness and anger and helplessness suddenly evoked in me a different feeling, one that was much stonger. I felt that the women I was seeing and reading about were not just mere statistics and images; they were my sisters.

I knew that but for the circumstance of where we were born, these women were no different from me. We were mothers and daughters, sisters and grandmothers, but what I took for granted was an everyday struggle for these women who, through no fault of their own, found themselves caught in the middle of war and poverty.

To take care of and protect yourself and your family, to feed and shelter and educate yourself and your children, to somehow find the strength to keep going everyday despite immense obstacles and horrors made me want to do something, anything, to help.

I realized for the first time that I or my daughter could be one of those women, and how fortunate we were to live in a country where we were safe.

One evening while watching Anderson Cooper on CNN, I saw for the first time a story about the ongoing mineral conflict war in the Congo, and what was happening to the women there. I was horrified and deeply moved by what I saw and heard.

During the piece, Anderson Cooper spoke about an organization called WOMEN FOR WOMEN INTERNATIONAL, and the work they were doing to try to help and empower the women in the Congo. Immediately after the program, I went onto the computer and onto the website for WFW. Within moments of watching the CNN piece on the Congo, I became a sponsor sister to 2 women there.

When I recieved my first letter from my sister, I was deeply humbled and felt such a surge of love for her. It was amazing to hold her hand written letter and to read about what a difference I was making in her life, to read about her children and her hopes and dreams for the future. Her strength overwhelmed me. I felt for the first time that I was really doing something important to help a women who needed me so much, and that we really were sisters. We were two women that may never meet, but will have a profound impact on each others lives forever.

For me, knowing what it would mean if it were me or my daughter in my sister's shoes, to have someone reach out to you from across the world and let you know that they care, that they are there to help, that you are not alone.

I am now onto my sixth sponsor sister in the Congo through WOMEN FOR WOMEN INTERNATIONAL.

I am so grateful for the opportunity they have given me and my sponsor sisters. Each time I receive a letter I still feel the same, I am still so humbled by the stories and by the grace that is shown by my sisters, I am still overwhelmed with love and hope.

It is incredibly moving to be able to have that connection, to know what a difference you are making in someone's life, someone's mother, someone's daughter.

Pennies For a Cause- The Rocky Mount Elementary School's Story

In Franklin County Virginia , a suburb in the western part of the state, a school full of children emptied their pockets and their hearts to women survivors of war in Africa.

Mother and daughter Kay and Erin Saleeby were not new to giving back and helping others. Through her school, Erin had volunteered in South Africa. She had helped school children and came away with the understanding that we are global citizens. Back home in Franklin, her mother was shaping the world through her elementary school students. Kay had been operating a giving program for her students for years. But after listening to her daughter speak of her travels in Africa, Kay wanted to help the women and children of the continent. Together they looked for ways to serve others.

After seeing the October 1 Oprah Winfrey Show featuring Women for Women International the Saleeby women looked at each other and said, "This is the way we can make a difference.”

They signed up to sponsor women, but that didn't feel like enough. So Kay decided to make Women for Women International the focus of her Annual Penny Wars at her school, Rocky Mount Elementary School.

The object of the project is for the children to bring in their spare change and support a non profit. Each classroom competes to see who can raise the most money. The winning class gets a prize. This year's prize: a cupcake party.

Erin and Kay, who both work at the school went to each class in the school and explained to the children what was happening to women and children in the African countries where Women for Women International Works, Nigeria, Sudan, Democratic Republic of the Congo, and Rwanda.

After hearing about the conditions that the women that we serve live in, the children were dumbfounded. They couldn't imagine that life outside of their small town could be so hard for so many people. They asked questions. The best question they asked: "What can we do to help?”

Each classroom was given a glass jar to fill with loose change. Occasionally there was a dollar but for the most part it was all pennies. Kay, Erin and volunteers counted the money everyday and updated the students on how much each classroom had raised.

Penny by penny, the students at Rocky Mount Elementary School contributed $1,063.77 to help women Sudan. It was an amazing effort for a school with less than 500 students! But as Kay recounted, the children were committed to helping women and children in Southern Sudan live a better life.

The contributions will allow the students to sponsor women in Southern Sudan. They are already excited to get the photos of the women, learn their stories and exchange letters.

And the Saleebys' feel like they are genuinely changing lives. Erin said, "Giving to Women for Women International is not just giving money and you don't know what happens. But with this organization, you sponsor this women and you touch their lives."

The students at Rocky Mount Elementary proved that it doesn't take a lot to help women survivors of war. And maybe what they learn from and about the women we serve will change their lives as well.

Laura Meyer's Story - Bringing the Connection into the Classroom

In June, 2008, I received my initial Women For Women Int’l welcome package introducing me not only to my country of choice, the Democratic Republic of Congo, but to my first sister, Jeanne Bakubali. I had all kinds of ideas on how to write my first letter, but was concerned I might overwhelm her with information. I was also acutely aware of how vastly different our lives were and sensitive to the fact that my life as a single, educated professional living in New York City could seem to her like some strange sort of fairy tale.

As a teacher of high schoolers with learning disabilities, I also wanted to use this experience as a lesson and ongoing unit. Introducing my small class of 10 students to an actual person would certainly engage them on a much more personal and authentic level with my “homemade” social studies and global issues lessons. So I set up a week of lessons where we first studied the DRC itself, learning a brief history of the troubled country and watching some documentaries I had accumulated, including one about young war-ravaged women with fistulas called “Lumo”. I wanted to ensure they had a strong understanding of what our new sister may have been through before we really introduced ourselves to her.

I then had them work on a short essay about the country using a writing prompt homework worksheet. We kept a special bulletin board up in the room to post all correspondence, photos and maps.

Initially, I wrote the introduction part of the letter, explaining to Jeanne some of my own background and setting up the body of the letter, which was a short paragraph from each of my students introducing themselves and then asking her one or two questions. We sent it off with a full-color page of photos of all of us and waited excitedly for her reply!

Unfortunately, this was in June and of course with the time lapse between letters, it was September before we heard back from her. Luckily I still had many of the same students in my class the next school year, but as much as I hate to admit it, it was several more months before things settled back into a routine where I could re-introduce the lesson to the new additions in class. We fell behind and before we knew it, Jeanne had graduated!

I promised not to let us get behind with our second sister, Annonciata. Though my class this fall is comprised of entirely new students, I am introducing the unit as part of an abridged December “Genocide-Conflict” theme I started last year.

I have already penned a letter off to her, but will engage my new group into writing short notes as well, which we will then place together with a Christmas card and class photo!

I have found this project, while still very much in its initial infancy, to be a remarkable way to drive home the point that so many of our kids take a sense of entitlement and an idea of school being “pointless” to such an extreme, they cannot see past their own often petty grievances.

As a Special-Education teacher, I am constantly fighting a bureaucracy that seems to aim for the absolute minimum when it comes to teaching kids like mine. I saw clearly that not only were the students in my class able to understand the issues presented, but their compassion and curiosity made me proud of them. The initial letter we wrote last summer proved that the higher we aim for all of our kids, the deeper will be our understanding of each other and the more peaceful will our world become!

Women For Women International has provided this teacher with the incredible inspiration to break these boundaries and engage students in a simple experience that they will keep with them their entire lives.

Laura Mayer
New York City

Liz Hammer and Violette's Story

How does one survive a genocide that took the lives of a quarter million of your neighbors and friends? How does one piece a life back together and then thrive? Violette Mutegwamaso knows how because she did just that with the support of her sponsor, Liz Hammer.

A Life Torn Apart

In 1994, armed militias started fomenting a civil war in Rwanda. Soon the country disintegrated into chaos as Hutu and Tutsi clashed on the streets and in homes across the country. As the chaos closed in, Violette was alone with her children. Her husband was working three hours away in Kigali where he could earn a better living than in their small village of Gahini. Violette instantly knew they were in grave danger.

Carrying her two children in her arms, she fled to a nearby church where she thought she and her family would be safe. Instead of finding sanctuary, Violette and her family walked into a nightmare. "There was shooting going on, and people were falling on others and dying everywhere," Violette said. The church was under attack by a machete-wielding militia. To survive, Violette was forced to lie down in the aisle and smear blood on herself and her children. Pretending to be dead, they hid among the corpses. Afraid to move, to cry, to even breathe, they lay there for an entire week until the Rwandan army came to liberate the area. Violette estimated that there were 700 people in that church - only 20 survived.

In the chaos and violence, Violette’s husband was brutally murdered. She was left to raise their five year old son, Eric, and four year old girl, Angelique. As so many other women in Rwanda did, Violette took in an orphan who lost his family during the war.

With little support, she tried to rebuild her life. She farmed other people’s land and barely earned enough to feed herself and children. She didn’t have enough money leftover to pay for school or buy essentials like medicine and clothing for her family.

The Path to Healing and Prosperity

In 2004 Violette learned about Women for Women International’s programs. She enrolled and was matched with a sponsor in the United States, a woman named Liz Hammer, a Boston mother of two. Violette was matched with a sponsor in the United States, a woman named Liz Hammer who pledged to provide $27 month for one year to support Violette’s trainings and education as well as give a cash allowance to help her pay for food, school fees and clothing. Liz also wrote monthly letters encouraging Violette to see beyond her circumstances and embrace hope for a better future.

As the year progressed, Violette flourished. She learned marketable job skills and honed her innate leadership abilities. Despite having only a high school education, Violette has become a local businesswoman and a leader in her community.

Using money that Liz sent, Violette expanded her fledgling operation of harvesting sorghum, a local grain, into a full-fledged business of making sorghum-based drinks. Each season, Violette harvests fifteen one-kilogram sacks of sorghum. Sometimes the demand for her special home brew is so great, she buys more sorghum from other local farmers. She says it takes about three days to make a single batch of sorghum drink, which is enough to make 150 to 180 liters. At 30 cents a liter, Violette manages to make a profit of about $50 for each batch.

Violette’s business savvy does not stop there. Violette also has a considerable bean harvest, half of which feeds her family and the other half she sells to make a profit. If the price is high, she sells the beans to her neighbors. If the price is low, she sells it wholesale to stores or nearby restaurants in bulk.

From her bean harvest alone, she makes nearly $1800. The average income in Rwanda is estimated to be $260, according to the World Bank. With the money she earns from selling the beans and the drinks, Violette has been able to hire local laborers, often other women, to work the fields and help her manage her business. She is keenly aware in returning her wealth to her community.

"It was only through this program that I realized I could start my own business," Violette said recently. “My business allows me to pay school fees for my children, to send them to school, the Gahini Shining Star Secondary School,” she said. Having begun but never graduated from high school, Violette is determined to see that her children are educated.

Before joining Women for Women International, Violette would have never imagined she could own and operate a thriving business. Now, she has a savings account in a bank and has the trust of local lenders to provide her with more capital to use to grow her business and support her community.

In an move not typical for a woman in Rwanda, Violette applied for, and was awarded, a bank loan of $370 to bring water to her business and to her community from a water pipe that runs through her community. Although the pipe ran directly through the community, there was no accessible tap. A scarcity of potable water in her village meant that women would have to walk for hours to reach a water tap. As it is, only 20% of villages in Rwanda have access to running water. In Rwanda, women spend hours of their day walking to get water and then carrying the heavy jugs back to their homes.

Violette successfully lobbied her local government for permission to get access to this pipe into her home. She is planning to put a tap in her home, and will charge about 10 cents for each container of water. The money she earns from the sale will allow her to make her monthly payments on her loan at no additional cost to her.

Building a Community of Peace

Violette has now graduated from Women for Women International but the lessons she learned are still a part of her. In fact, she has become the president of a local women’s crafts cooperative that is made up of graduates of her rights awareness training group. Violette says she counts on these women as her closest friends and business partners.

Together these graduates make and sell traditional Rwandan peace baskets, pottery, crochet and other artisan crafts that they then sell to local store owners. The peace baskets are by far the most popular item because the baskets serve many functions in Rwandese culture, including being presented as wedding gifts to a bride and groom. They have also become symbols of peace, especially as Hutu, Tutsi and Twa women sit side by side to weave “peace baskets” from sisal fibers using traditional techniques and designs.

Violette says she is moved that the cooperative brings together all members of the village, including those victimized by the genocide and others who have confessed to genocide crimes or have family members in prison. The peace basket cooperative has fostered reconciliation—something unheard of a dozen years ago.

Working together to make the peace baskets, Violette said, has made her and her fellow cooperative members think about Rwandan unity. “This would never have been considered before,” she said. Since joining Women for Women International, Violette’s life has changed drastically. Where once she felt she was losing control, she now has a firm grasp and can see a viable future for herself and her children. "This program has changed my life. My mind has been opened,” she said.

Sponsor Liz Hammer, who exchanged letters with Violette during the year-long sponsorship program at Women for Women International, recently said:

The connection to Violette has had such a profound impact on my life…I felt this deep connection with Violette from the beginning because she was so open about what she experienced in the genocide but not in a way that made you feel sorry for her but from a position of strength...

Her husband was killed. She and her children were on brink of death and fought for their lives. She was able to save her family and rise above the carnage. She has been able to forgive the individual who killed her husband. I can’t imagine how she can do that. Somehow she is able to get past that and forgive. I told her that you’ve got to be bigger person than I am because I can’t imagine having my husband senselessly killed and getting past that….

I am just amazed by all that she has accomplished and thrilled for her and her children and feel like she was able to rise above the circumstances that life dealt her….

I think about her all the time, in fact on a daily basis. I just had my second girl, and between her and my two year old toddler, it just seems like a lot. I sometimes feel overwhelmed and there is too much to handle. But then I think of Violette, and women like her. What I have to go through is so little to handle in comparison to her. She has provided me with tremendous perspective that you can’t get from just reading an article or watching a news story….

Just to know a woman with kind of the strength that Violette has given me a perspective that I would not otherwise gain.

One Sponsor's Story - Tracey Manne

January 31, 2006

I lost my Mom in 2004. She was my best friend and her death devastated me more that I could ever put into words. My mother believed in the power of women and always felt that if the treatment of women around the world was ever going to change that change would have to be made by women. Her life’s message to me was that I was a beautiful, strong woman, that I could achieve my dreams and most importantly, that I was loved. When I heard about the women in the Democratic Republic of the Congo and other countries on the Oprah Winfrey show, I knew that I had to share my mother’s message with other women. I became a sponsor through Women for Women International and the journey began. I was introduced to my new sister through a letter and photo. Her name, Anvarite Shabuli, is forever etched in my memory. I sat down to write Anvarite a letter and my life changed. I thought it was going to be me that did the giving, but I was the one who truly received the gift. I told Anvarite how beautiful she is and what a strong woman she must be to be raising so many children. I told her that she is my sister, and that there is a woman on the other side of the world that loves and believes in her. As I shared these words with Anvarite, I realized for the first time that my mom was still with me. It was the beginning of healing. Then it came. In my mail a few months later, there was a package from Women for Women International. In it was a letter from my sister, Anvarite, her words, written in her own handwriting. I read it and began to cry. There was hope, love, and strength in her words. I was touching the paper that she touched. Geography seemed nonexistent. A connection was made to her in that moment that will remain with me always. Now, when life presents a challenge or obstacle that seems insurmountable, or when sadness begins to fill my heart, I close my eyes and say her name over and over. Anvarite Shabuli, Anvarite Shabuli, Anvarite Shabuli. She gives me strength. Her love is power. She is my sister. I will miss her letters when our year together has been completed, but I know that she is beginning a new journey full of hope and promise thanks to Women for Women International. With or without letters, she will be with me forever. I will start a new journey with a new sister and I can only hope that I can give her a fraction of what Anvarite has given me. Today is my mom’s birthday. I began the day expecting to be filled with sadness at the thought of not being able to celebrate her birthday. In sharing my story, I now feel that I have celebrated her. I am filled with joy knowing that others now know about her dream of a world of women united, and what a beautiful, strong, and loved women she was. The gift continues.

With eternal gratitude, Tracey Manne

High School Sponsor Walk-a-Thon to Benefit Women for Women International

Sixteen year old Eleanor "Nori" Oxholm, a Junior at Broughton High School in Raleigh, North Carolina did something different in March 2004. She organized a 6.2 mile Walk-A-Thon — 25 laps around her high school track — to benefit the work of Women for Women International. Some 200 walkers, mostly students, participated in the event which raised nearly $5,000 for Women for Women International. Among the best fundraisers were a group of students from the Democratic Republic of the Congo, who signed up sponsors despite their fractured English. Food and drink contributions were given by three local sponsors: Pepsi, Krispy Kreme and Panera Bread.

Inspired by the Women for Women International website after a teacher told her about it, Nori started her own Young Women for Women International after-school club. The club claims 40 members (boys and girls) and meets once or twice a month to talk about issues facing women in conflict-prone and poor countries. “I wanted to do something to educate people my age about the status of women around the world,” said Nori. Thank you, Nori, for all your hard work and dedication to building awareness and understanding of the unique problems women face in places like Bosnia and Herzegovina and Iraq and for your efforts in making our world more just for everyone. We're proud of you.

Taking Steps for a Change

Each Sunday, when the Susquehanna International Dancers meet in Bloomsburg, Pa. to create fancy steps to traditional folk music, it is not for the love of dance alone. They also have a humanitarian impulse. "We can't just stand idly by enjoying a people's culture in their time of need," said Jack Holt, a member. So when Khin Khin Guyot suggested a benefit party in the early 1990s to aid victims of the Bosnian conflict, the group held its first “Bosnian Benefit”. They first began linking dance with humanitarian assistance by donating proceeds from their dance parties to the Red Cross. Later they learned of Women for Women International’s work in Bosnia and began donating their proceeds to this cause: “We were learning dances from the Balkans, and we wanted to give something back to the people who lived there,” said member Anne Wilson, “Women for Women International was a perfect choice.” In 1995, the group began sponsoring a Bosnian woman in Croatia following the Balkan Wars.

Today, the central Pennsylvania group sponsors five women in four different countries, and hopes to sponsor a woman in every country where Women for Women International has an office. This has helped the group learn more about Afghanistan, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Kosovo and Rwanda, and the lives of the people whose dances they learn. Wilson vividly remembers stories from the group’s sisters, many focusing on the trauma of war, but also on the hope and desire to rebuild their lives.

As crises have spread beyond Bosnia, the Susquehanna International Dancers now hold an annual sedjulka, a family dance party, to raise money for Women for Women International. Member Oliver Larmi teaches dances to children of the Greenwood Friends School, which they perform early at the party, to the tune of live music, while guests enjoy a bounty of international food. They hold a cooking party before the event where participants can learn how to make delicacies like baklava and tiropita. Social dancing goes on long after the children's bedtime and often turns into a folksong fest as the dancers rest their weary feet. One year, Larmi pinned a collage of pictures and letters from the women the group had sponsored to a clothesline, as a way to let the community “meet” their sisters.

This dynamic group of supporters has channeled their love of dancing and international culture into a way to help women survivors of conflict all over the world. Wilson summed up the group’s vision: “Dancing is a wonderful way meet different people and experience the world. You don’t need to speak a person's language to dance with them.”

My 40 Sisters - Catherine Cameron's Story

One sister wasn’t enough for Catherine Cameron. When the Claremont, California resident heard Women for Women International’s Zainab Salbi speak in early 1997, she was moved to sponsor a woman in Bosnia and Herzegovina. And then, she sponsored another. And then another. And then another.

Women like Beatrice in Rwanda, who lost her husband during the genocide and was left to care for her five children—and two orphans—alone. And Shakeela, an Afghan refugee who supported her three sons and a husband suffering from chronic illness on just $18 a month. And Muniba from Bosnia and Herzegovina, who moved from one abandoned home to another with her family after the war. And Visoka, Therese, Eunice and Emina. In just eight years, Catherine has sponsored 40 women—women who have overcome the effects of war and moved from being victims to survivors to active citizens. In May 2005, Catherine celebrated her commitment to Women for Women International with an exhibit, “My 40 Sisters,” at her retirement home. The exhibit spanned eight years of letter-writing and exchanging photographs. Catherine decorated lighted glass cases with flags from the countries where the women live and put each woman’s name on a ribbon. Visitors could read the handwritten letters, like the ones written after September 11, 2001,which sent words of support and encouragement.

The letters are emotional; they are personal; they are about connecting despite distance and differences in experience. In her letters, Catherine told her sisters that “I was there for them,” she recalled recently. She believes that with the aid of Women for Women International, the bonds of sisterhood are strong enough to overcome the horror of war, rape, domestic violence and living the life of a refugee. “It was meaningful to me to be helping them,” she said. Catherine also discovered she had something to gain from her sisters. The letters she exchanged with them were a window not only into the lives of women who survived the ravages of war but a window into her own life and a painful childhood memory of abuse that she had buried. As she became close to her sisters and read tales of their tragedy, the floodgates of her own memory opened. Catherine said he sisters were there for her at a time when she needed them. “The letters helped me. It helped me to hear from these women and what they had gone through—their trauma,” she said. “It helped me by reinforcing that healing can take place.”

The Little Soldier

Amy Marsico is a sponsor who travelled to Bosnia & Herzegovina in 2003. Below are some of her reflections from her trip.“Before the war, I didn’t know what the word “Croatian” meant. I didn’t know what the word “Muslim” meant. I was a Bosnian. We were all Bosnians. We played together, we worked together, went to the same schools. But that was before the war” - Sefo Hajruši

I suppose there are many ways one can learn about war. We read books, see faithful movie adaptations and watch interviews with survivors and soldiers. To supplement our knowledge, the History Channel provides excellent footage in gritty black and white. Between CNN and the New York Times, we’re caught up on all the latest current events. We consider ourselves knowledgeable and quite well educated. We sympathize with the victims, the innocent people caught up in the crossfire. We feel awfully sorry for those poor refugees, who have lost everything. We think, having been so well-educated and well informed that we understand the nature of the conflict, the plight of the refugees and what war really means...

But then I found myself in modern-day Europe, and after soaking up rays in the resort beaches of the Adriatic Coast; I came to a country called Bosnia & Herzegovina, and a town called Mostar. The transformation is biting, swift and brutal, as if I am Alice falling through the Rabbit Hole. When I finally caught my breath, I saw a feast of visual destruction unlike anything I had learned about or imagined.